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Creating Special Memories

Last day for Mother's Day orders : 28/04/2021 

Creating Special Memories

My Mum... 

was diagnosed with Alzheimers / Dementia just over 5 years ago on 14 January 2014.  I've written a blog or two about this before, including one a few months after her diagnosis.  It's hard for me to believe it has been 5 years.  I remember the date so clearly, as this was the date my Rainbow Baby was born, my Mum came straight from receiving the news of her diagnosis, to meeting her new grandson, with my Aunt.  They didn't tell me that day.  My Mum - always thinking of others.

It's been a long... 

5 years, full of ups and downs.  Sometimes you want to scream and cry, other times you accept what is happening, and sometimes you are just sad.  You go through many stages of grieving and as you go along, you realise what you grieved for 2 years ago, you now wish you had back.  A few years ago, after the terrifying delusions had finished, there were fanciful stories of amazing holidays and things that just hadn't happened.  Things she'd read about or seen on TV.  They were real to her.  I remember at the time, I'd correct her, until I realised that it didn't actually help, it just made her feel bad, confused.  What I wouldn't give to see her smile as she remembered some amazing adventure she had - whether it was true or not.  Just to hear her tell me a story like that would be incredible.  

5 years into the journey...

and she seems fairly stable at the moment.  We had a little 'blip' towards the end of last year when she had a fall and broke her arm.  She lost all her confidence and it seemed like she might slip into the next stage, she lost confidence to walk, hardly spoke and we had weeks of visits where she slept through and hardly seemed to notice I was there.  This year she has regained some confidence, though losing the ability, but she has some mobility.  Because of the previous years events, I'm happy she can stand now.  That we can dance together.  My Mum used to love music and dancing.  On Fridays they have music therapy, and its my favourite time to visit.  Mum doesn't have a lot of coherant conversation left.  She does still talk, but most of it doesn't make much sense.  I agree, say what I think might work, and we smile and hug.  But listening to the music, she sings along, she knows the words.  I usually have her up dancing.  She laughs and we have such a nice time.

Sometimes things happen...

That touch you so deeply.  That make you remember the special times, and you realise, while there is love, there is life.  This Friday.. we'd been dancing.  Some war time type songs, some rock and roll ... and then a song I've never heard before.  It seemed to take Mum somewhere else.  Then she looked at me, touched my tattoo "I am enough"... and she said to me ...

"You know, you are enough, you always have been.  You are such a good daughter, and you always amaze me".

We hugged, I cried.  We danced a bit more, and then I had to leave to pick up my boy from pre-school.  I said to her, as I always do - "Thanks for dancing.. I love you", and she said (and I'm not 100% on the exact words as I was trying to remember the exact words of earlier!) "I love you too, it's always so good to have someone to talk to".  

When someone...

hasn't really been able to form sentances or say what they want for over a year or more.. it was such an incredible thing.  I miss my Mum so much, and to have that moment with HER, was just incredible.  So much so that I needed to keep the words forever.  This will be such a special keepsake for me, something I never want to forget.

Posted: Sunday 24 February 2019

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