All about Mothers Day (Part 3)

As a Mum of 2 ..

My Sunshine Baby, and my Angel Baby, it was hard not to be jealous or envious of those with new babies.  It was the only thing I wanted.  Well, I wanted Koby back.  I wanted things to be different.  But if I couldn't have him back, I wanted another baby.  A Sunshine Baby, is the baby you have, before loss.

I have shared my journey ..

with my rainbow baby before.  7 failed cycles of IUI (fertility treatment).  Even with the IUI I still had less than 5% chance of conceiving.  But it was better than the less than 1% chance I had naturally.  I am always amazed, that injecting myself in the stomach became 'normal', and I went from crying, stress & nerves that first time, to standing at the fridge (where they were kept) to inject myself when it was needed.   7 cycles, over 13 (ish) months.

It seemed like a lifetime ..

this third journey to motherhood.  I doubt it.  And after 7 cycles I couldn't do it any longer.  It had cost more than planned, taken longer, and was harder.  Negative. Negative. Negative.  Time after time.  The goal posts changed.  3 trys only.  Then 6 trys.  Then - we are legally allowed to do 12.  After 7 it was time for a break.  I could not have given up if I tried.  But I gave up for a short while.  To breathe. 

Taking a break ..

Looked like resigning from my job.  It looked like throwing myself into my business.  Starting accupunture.  Then 2 weeks later.  Pregnant.  Naturally.  A baby meant to be.  Sent from above.  Just like that. 

Pregnancy with a Rainbow Baby ..

is pregnancy like no other.  It actually takes 99 months - not 9.  Every day feels like a month

.  

You wish time away.  Experts tell you baby may arrive around the same time, and to 'prepare yourself'.  How even ?  

As it happened ..

99 months eventually passed, and my rainbow arrived .. induced at 38 weeks.

Words could not explain.