All about Mothers Day (Part 3)
As a Mum of 2 ..
My Sunshine Baby, and my Angel Baby, it was hard not to be jealous or envious of those with new babies. It was the only thing I wanted. Well, I wanted Koby back. I wanted things to be different. But if I couldn't have him back, I wanted another baby. A Sunshine Baby, is the baby you have, before loss.
I have shared my journey ..
with my rainbow baby before. 7 failed cycles of IUI (fertility treatment). Even with the IUI I still had less than 5% chance of conceiving. But it was better than the less than 1% chance I had naturally. I am always amazed, that injecting myself in the stomach became 'normal', and I went from crying, stress & nerves that first time, to standing at the fridge (where they were kept) to inject myself when it was needed. 7 cycles, over 13 (ish) months.
It seemed like a lifetime ..
this third journey to motherhood. I doubt it. And after 7 cycles I couldn't do it any longer. It had cost more than planned, taken longer, and was harder. Negative. Negative. Negative. Time after time. The goal posts changed. 3 trys only. Then 6 trys. Then - we are legally allowed to do 12. After 7 it was time for a break. I could not have given up if I tried. But I gave up for a short while. To breathe.
Taking a break ..
Looked like resigning from my job. It looked like throwing myself into my business. Starting accupunture. Then 2 weeks later. Pregnant. Naturally. A baby meant to be. Sent from above. Just like that.
Pregnancy with a Rainbow Baby ..
is pregnancy like no other. It actually takes 99 months - not 9. Every day feels like a month
.
You wish time away. Experts tell you baby may arrive around the same time, and to 'prepare yourself'. How even ?
As it happened ..
99 months eventually passed, and my rainbow arrived .. induced at 38 weeks.
Words could not explain.
Posted: Saturday 28 April 2018