Memory Making

Memory Making Going Forward

I have done a lot to make memories over the years, and I thought it might be helpful to share them here.  Memory making doesn't have to stop when you say goodbye to your baby.

I find ways to keep Koby's memory alive, I always want to include him, his memory in what we do.

Koby was buried, and we have a headstone that we designed for him. For us it is nice to have 'somewhere'.  This is our peaceful place.

It really is beautiful out there, I can't imagine ever thinking this before, that a headstone in a cemetary could be beautiful, but now that he is there, it is. A very special place.

Of course, you don't need a headstone.  Any place - a pot plant, a tree you've planted, a corner of your room with keepsakes, even a special spot in your heart - somewhere you keep your most precious things.

In the weeks after Koby died, I NEEDED to do something ...

I created this mosaic - and I had never ever done anything like this before - celebrating our family.  In my grief and with my inability to really think clearly, I made an extra star - the stars represented all our children.  Later of course, I believe this was a sign from Koby - as in this picture there is a rainbow (bottom right corner) the last star was my rainbow baby, who now delights, entertains, and helps to heal us ... and Koby knew and tried to comfort me then with this. 

I also created a garden for him (this was at my previous house), and had a corner in the bedroom with toys, keepsakes and trinkets that were 'his'.  I've now shifted, and have special keepsakes on my dressing table, some on display in the dining room, another in the lounge.  His mosaic sits proudly in our back yard.

This gorgeous heart is weighted to Koby's weight (485gr) and was made by Andrea at Huggable Hearts ... another angel Mum who wants to give back. 
This one is made out of one of Kobys outfits.  It is wonderful having something that is his weight - somehow makes him more real.

I have a tattoo of Koby's footprint, a teddy bear with his name on, another mosaic designed just for him, artwork for him and candles, angels and more.

Every year I participate in the International Wave of Light, were a candle is lit at 7pm in memory of babies lost, all around the world.  The light travels around the world sending light and love to the heavens.

I've also participated in monthly Baby Loss photo challenges, and printed them into beautiful keepsake books celebrating Koby and our love.

Along with these things, we always celebrate his birthday, take cake out to the cemetary ... his headstone has a little enclosure - door - and we 'update' the toy in there with his birthday present.   I buy him Christmas decorations for the tree, usually butterflies.  I've put shell flowers, toys, windmills, chimes and cute bird's along with plants with his headstone. I've made myself many keepsake items, and always have his name alongside my living children on my jewellery.

Changing around his garden, helping others, talking about him, all these things make me feel closer to him x

Things I wish I had done.. 

Hand and foot casts!  I just didn't know this was a thing at all.  It was something I found about afterwards, and one of my biggest regrets.

Photos!  I wish I'd had more photos.  I wish I had photos of me holding him.  I just didn't want to be in the photos.  I didn't want to remember how I felt.  Or see how I looked.  But now, OMG I so wish I'd taken all the photos.  I want photos of Koby and I together so much.