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Living the Moment

Living the Moment

Living the Moment

I've been thinking of the right words for a design to help raise funds for Dementia Waikato - they suggested Living the Moment and it really resonates with me.

My family is 3 1/2 years into our journey with this disease.  I can always tell you exactly, as she was diagnosed on the day my youngest son was born - she came straight from receiving that news to meeting her new grandson.

Anyway, shortly after (and no doubt before) my Mum had delusions.  Horrible things.  Nothing nice happened in these delusions.  We promised her they weren't real, and these terrible things hadn't happened.  We bascially said what you think is real - actually isnt.  And it was true.

Time went by, and medication had the delusions under control.  Now she told us of fantastic ski trips to Switzerland and holidays to France.  Oh I wish that was real, we'd joke - trying to bring her back to our reality.

But you know what - now I don't know why we did that ?  Surely that is MY issue not hers, why deny her this fantastic memory of a holiday like this.  It wasn't real - but who did that hurt ?  Telling her it wasn't real, confused her more.  It made her feel bad for being mixed up and muddled about things.  It was just for me, struggling to hold onto the person I knew.  Struggling to keep her in 'my world'. 

It is hard for families, I think, to come to the realisation that entering their world is best.  If they are happy, you can be happy that they are.  Enjoy a positive experience, instead of a negative one where you correct them. This is only upsetting for them, and in turn upsets you.  Isn't all we want at the end of the day for them to be happy?  

Stories now, are less complex.  Memories fading more.  The last few weeks there has been a jelly obsession.  She loves jelly.  Every sentence contains something about jelly.  But you know what?  She loves jelly.  It makes her smile and laugh.  And guess what - that makes me happy, and makes me smile and laugh WITH her. 

Living the moment, to me means ... if we can still smile and laugh together - then that is all I need.  I don't need to correct her, to try and drag her back to my reality.   It isn't what either of us had envisioned for today.  But it is what it is, and living the moment, means we get nice moments.  Happy moments.  I need to support her, love her, and just be in her moment with her. 

You can support Dementia Waikato with the purchase of our special pendant (or keyring) .. $10 from every sale of this pendant is donated to Dementia Waikato : Living the Moment Pendant

For my Mum x

Posted: Thursday 14 September 2017

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